Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Channel #2


So I am moving in 10 days…… 10 DAYS!!!! I can’t help but wonder if we will actually be able to pack up our the lives in fit it on to 1 little 24 foot truck??? It just seems inconceivable to me that the property of 6 people our whole life will in fact fit on that truck!!!
I had truly hoped that I would be more ready and packed then I am now!! I packed the basement last night, the basement in this house is #1 our storage area #2 our Laundry area #3 our Play room /office and I have to say it was the one area that was my dreaded area!!! I find it amazing that we as humans will keep things like gift bags reuse and then forget that we have them and go buy more when we need one!!! Yet for some reason we keep keeping them?? I found stuff down there that I don’t / can’t remember why I even had it!!! My four children have more toys then the country of China and it is mostly likely accurate seems as how they make it and we buy it!!!
I have four children and they are all really excited to move and I think they are most likely feeding off our energy as they usually do!!! When we last moved they were younger it was a hard yet easy move they sort of went with the flow and enjoyed the ride yet this time they want to help and God bless their little hearts for wanting to help but the OCD in me says NO WAY !!! I can’t help but think you want to help pick up your toys stop leaving them where ever you play with them HAHAHA!!! Life long battle I know but it is one of my dreams!!
As of right now we have 36 boxes exactly Yes I know the exact number of boxes sick I know!!! Have I mentioned I have a little OCD in me?? Well actually DH says it ids the OCD in me I just say it is good sense. I have a system every bow that gets packed gets a number from 1 to whatever and I right the location to where it will belong in the new house for example Box #1 Living room FRAGILE - all sides of the box is marked with its number the number is then marked in my trusty little MOVING note book/Organizer beside the box number is the Boxes future destination and a list itemizing everything that the box contains……. A little Martha Stewart but you know something it works, it is the only way I know how to be especially with 4 kids and a DH who always seem to ask where is the ……… (usually just after it gets packed) this way I just pull out my trusty little Note book and direct the person to the box # that holds the item in Question. Now some of you may ask “well what happens if you lose the book?” but I have that all covered you see I have a second book as a back up that I keep it all logged in as well!!!
I have really realized how much the chaos affects my children’s ability to keep with their regular responsibilities of life, they just don’t seem to remember where anything belongs. The minute I pick something up to put it in its proper home, and later return to the place it was just to find 5 more things in its place, this for someone like me who even in the chaos of moving still likes things to be in its place finds this very unnerving.
Yesterday we went out to the new house and hung some curtains I cleaned the Kitchen and got it ready for the dishes making un packing one step easier I plan to return to the house with hopes of cleaning the bathrooms and closets and maybe even the floors and even unload some the boxes which I have the gut feeling will surpass the 50 mark!!! Being at the house felt so surreal I felt as though I was trespassing but on my own property such a weird and thrilling feeling!!
Since the house is sooooo brand new we don’t even have our natural gas hooked up and I think I have been on the telephone with the Natural gas company more in the last 2 weeks than I have been with anyone else in my life not exactly what I hoped to be doing at this time but not really a choice if we want some heat on a cold night or even a hot bath or shower!!!
The children were registered to there new school and they are so excited. The school seems so great too it is a smaller school (country school) they were so excited to get to know the children. My eldest has a slight learn disability (I hate calling it that) and I was able to meet and chat with the resource teacher and she seemed so excited to work with my daughter which fills me with so much peace. The school that they are leaving has always treated my daughter as though she was an in convenience, they were in such a rush to get her tested (assessed) and then once she was it was all they could do to not have to deal with it. This school is so excited to meet her and her siblings. I found out that their JK program is a full day program 5 days a week as apposed to ½ day programs that my 3rd is in right now so as of 10 days from now I will have 3 kids in school full days and 1 home with mommy all to himself full days. I had a moment of panic for a few days due to the fact that I have always conditioned myself that it would be another 2 years before they would all be in school full days, now I have 4 months left till all my babies are all grown up!!!! I have to admit that the thought of a clean house for 6 hours is quite appealing to me, along with the thought of possibly going back to work or even school all very appealing choices none the less!!!
In and amongst all of the chaos and mayhem I still find one thing baffling, not upsetting just baffling and that is the fact that all of this still leaves me excited for the future, months ago this would all have caused me to have ulcers and panic attacks and now I welcome the excitement.
BRING IT BABY!!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Changing Channels in LIFE




Channel 1
Wow, it has been a while since I last blogged and to my 6 followers that I know of and those I don’t know of I truly apologize but here is an update on my life!!!!

After heeding the advise of my brilliant mother and diligently finding 5 new reasons every morning for me to wake up and get out of bed and deal with the riggers of day to day life, things have really changed for me. My reasons have ranged from little reasons like, the dog needs to pee and the kids are choosing to ignore her and I can’t anymore, to reasons such as I want to meet someone new and possibly change their life in some small way today, either way I have done it and you want to know something? It has worked not that I doubted the power of my own positive thinking, but I was in a position then that lead me to feel that there was no room for movement, I felt TRAPPED!!! I felt like a deaf mute at Bingo, that had bingo, trying to yell BINGO!!! I couldn’t even whistle!!! I felt stuck, I felt like I was a kid again playing on the escalader in the big department store trying to go up the down, but I am older and less energetic and loosing the battle, I was getting an ass wuppin’ and buy who???….. I will tell you who…… ME!!!! I was holding me back!
I have come to the conclusion, that in all reality I am the only one who stops myself from getting out of bed, I am the only one who creates the bad mood I am in, I am the only one who will keep myself from getting to the top of that escalator, not my age, not my size, not my health, they are just the things that I did to myself by succumbing to my own fears and negative thinking……. Me and only me!!!! By my trying to blame others for why my life is not on the track that I wanted it to be or hoped it would be, I am only making it worse and I truly believe that when you believe in the positive through higher powers be it God or Ala or Abba you will have it, and it will be yours. We are OUR own worst enemies. I now realise that although our minds were created to have so much good impacts on the world around us they are also through our freedom of choice a tool of destruction, if WE choose to use them as such…… WE CHOOSE how we destruct or build our lives day to day!!!

I choose to build, build up moving up is the only way I CHOOSE to go from this day forward and this is the promise I made to myself!!! My choice is to get to the top of the dang escalader…
Since this revolution in my life I am on a whole new road, I am traveling down a path I never thought was even an option for my life, it isn’t anything I could have imagined or dreamed …. IT’S BETTER!!!

Three days after making this promise to MYSELF my Husband and I made a great leap, a leap we thought was farther out of our reach then it really was…. WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!
It is a brand new home fresh and clean with no other memories… a clean slate, a unpainted canvas for us to paint our own memories in!!! Our own house to finally call home!!! DH got a tattoo that matches the letters on mine to signify our children waiting for us after this chapter of our lives is completed. His tattoo is different and significant to him, I don’t feel tired anymore. I don’t sweat the small stuff, I smile all the time, I feel as though I have a life long perma-grin. I have let go of all that is/was weighing me down!!!! I can’t change the past and I don’t choose to, the past is what made me who I am today I only choose to learn from it. I don’t want to plan my future I want to enjoy it, and the only way to do that is to make the best of everything that is happening NOW!!!
I want to LIVE and I am. I can’t create the future, I can’t see it either I can only look forward to it!!! I am happy and now I have people telling me they see it they tell me I am glowing and I stand straighter, I feel taller, I speak with much more confidence and reverence not just for myself but for those I encounter daily.
I am HAPPY SOOOO HAPPY. I go to bed at night like a child at Christmas unable to wait for morning. My life has done a complete 180 and I have no clue what tomorrow will bring me, I don’t want or care to, I know it will be great because I will it to be so!!! Through the power of my spirit, and my GOD it will be wonderful because that is how it is intended to be, every day is a gift, not a given!!!
So as I pack up my life in boxes and embark on this wonderful journey (even packing is fun) I enjoy the look back on memory lane and the life I have had with excitement about what it will become last Friday I registered the Kids to their NEW school and we Received the KEY to our home I think of it as the KEY to happiness for the rest of our lives.
Our last few weeks have been a little stressful but not a bad stressful an exciting stressful, we are enjoying the excitement of life and moving on some couples or families go away on extravagant trips to be together but this is all we want to do and the only place we want to be I feel as though we are finally going HOME!!!

Only to no Home we have ever known before!!!!