So Christmas is drawing near and it is my most favourite time of year!!!! It is the time of year that I feel warm and cozy inside, the closeness that we feel with our family and friends it all seems like such a magical time!!!! This year has been difficult for me to be in the mood, I have no clue really as to why..... a few guesses yes, but don't really know the exact reason!!!
Some of my guesses may be that since our move life seems as though it has been thrown into high gear, or maybe perhaps because I haven't spoken to nor have I heard from my brother in over a year.... Except when my husband (Dh) ran into him at the airport while checking in for a flight there he was and my brother asked him how the kids and I were, my Dh said "Shanna's good, she misses you like crazy, but she is good", or maybe because my sister and I are still on rocky territories with each other, especially since a little shit hit the fan again with her and I, due to an E-mail sent to me from her, my Dh decided to intervene and write her back before it became another E-mail war like 8 months ago, funny thing is she has been as quiet as a mouse since, we haven't heard a peep!!!! Not always a good thing though
Truly though I just think it is that life has changed DRASTICALLY in all aspects of the word and all the way around. We have been so busy settling into our new lives that we haven’t had time to realize that Christmas has arrived! Now don't get me wrong we aren’t all BAHUMBUG-ish we have 4 kids and they are super excited and we have been keeping busy every weekend with Santa parades and Christmas related activities, but when I think of all the things we still have yet to do to keep it feeling like Christmas I get a little bit of anxiety!!! I have yet to plan our annual family portraits, baking, Christmas Eve gathering, I haven't even started Shopping for ANYONE, and our list is larger this year. Then there is all the Christmas Parties we have been asked to attend, and New Years parties as well!!!! Another thing that has changed is that I am now working Monday to Friday while the kids are in school for a crappy pay and a highly demanding position and I die a little more everyday that I have to go to work there, I really feel that it is taking a little piece of me away each day!!! I look forward to the kids Christmas break as they will need me home with them therefore I get a bit of a break too!!! So I am on a constant hunt for that dream full time job that pays enough to make it worth my while to put the kids in the daycare that I already have lined up!!!
So my DESPERATE Quest for the dream job leads me to the reason for my post!!! I recently had an interview with a job placement agency and of course it was downtown in the heart of the city where there was/is no parking available EVER!!! Being that I am married to someone in the Law enforcement field I know that the parking is strictly enforced in our city ESPECIALLY downtown so I chose to park in a parking lot 1 block away from the building where my interview was, and crazy as I was to pay $12.00 for 45 minutes it was well worth it!!! Now being that my search for parking in the city had made me pressed for time for this interview I rushed myself from the car to the building, failing to really take notice as to where I really was. The interview went well but since I am not the only person in my city that is on a quest for the perfect job it truly will be like a rat race to find something fast!!
As I left the building with the hopes and promises of something GREAT, I smiled as I slowly strolled back to my car taking in the city and all its Beauty! The city was just so pretty, I caught a glimpse of what I usually was in such a hurry to get away from, there were people every where, a Salvation Army Rep. ringing his bell right there on the corner! Some people who were taking there time like me, some people in there own hurried little world, some on a lunch break, some shoppers, some tourists, and some just working!!
There I was a small person in this giant city taking in all its beauty steam coming from the man hole covers, people bundled in coats with scarves and mitts with rosy cheeks and eyes glistening from the frostiness in the air, it all made the city feel so warm and safe for some reason! Then as I strolled down the street I took notice of something magical. I walked past it on my way to the interview without even a care, but I stopped dead in my tracks and stared long enough to make up for my ignorance earlier. I stopped in front of a tall 20 some story building with tinted windows and brown brick. In the lobby window to this building were 2 maintenance workers setting up Christmas decorations they were setting up a tree to be specific, and had evidently already hung the garland filled with lights and bows, it was so pretty and so magical to me. Magical enough to make me feel 9 years old again, I found myself just standing there looking all the way to the top of the building and back down and just taking it all in examining the whole building.
You see at that very second I realized that there I was standing in front of the very same building that my mother worked in when I was a young child right to the age of 15. Every year our mother would bring us to work with her on Christmas Eve for a party. It was always a very exciting time of year for me it was the start to our Christmas traditions. We would start the day by going on the city bus to work with our mother (like grown ups) and when we arrived we would go to the cafe downstairs to that building, which I would like to mention was indeed still there. We would play grown ups all morning at her work and then go to the lunch party and then in the afternoon we would head home to get dressed and ready for Christmas Eve mass followed by le Réveillon at my Aunts house, then home to bed so Santa would come. Christmas day was just as busy filling our day with an open house in our home. (Sometimes the number of guests reached 40+ adults and children) It was great, it was always the same, and I took great comfort in it every year. As I stood there feeling nine years old again, noticing that the decorations the gentleman were putting up were the same as when I was little, as was the Café, I had tears in my eyes not bad tears but good tears. I realized then and there that as fast as life is going right now, and as rapidly as things are changing…. I was warmed and comforted by the fact that some things NEVER change!!!! That building (although I was only standing there for a minute or two) was a secure exciting place for me still, 20 some years later! I walked away with that child like excitement inside, I remembered walking the same sidewalk with my mother and sister and brother, through the same parking lot, towards the SAME "Holt Renfrew" store!!!
Now I realize to some of you this is probably the most corny and cliché blog you have read or that I have written for that matter, but I am writing this because in my 30 years of life this was the first real glimpse into my past that I have ever had, and yes it could be a testament to my age I am sure, it is my reason for the Christmas spirit this year. I feel that Christmas is something only truly enjoyed with child like faith, and that one small glimpse into my past or shall I say glimpse back to my childhood has been what has restored my child like faith this year. That one moment has been my reason for battling the crowds at Santa Claus Parades, battling the grouchiest shoppers in the stores, putting up the decorations, playing Christmas music, and trying to keep Christmas the most wonderful and exciting time in my children’s lives. (As much as in my own) I am trying to keep it as real, as secure, and as warm a time of year for them, that they may too look back in there adult years and have a small glimpse of there childhood traditions, causing the excitement to come rolling back, restoring in them the real meaning and feeling of Christmas, helping them to remember that the happiness, security, and warmth is the real and true meaning of Christmas not money gifts and greed....
So as I close now and take advantage of the next 16 days of preparation I thank you for taking a walk down memory lane with me, I hope and pray that the spirit of Christmas touches you as it did me, and that you may too take a walk down your own memory lane and restore your child like faith this Christmas!!!
Merry Christmas, Felize Navidad, Joyeux Noel!!!!
