Friday, March 6, 2009
Life challenges me yet AGAIN!!!!
So life has handed me the challenges of challenges I started this blog thinking it was going to be one of those blogs that every blogger says you HAVE to do like a right of passage or something. What I am apparently supposed to do is take the fourth picture of the fourth file and blog about it or the person in it.
My mother has challenged me too, she knows how hard this whole situation has been for me and although she has not taken sides (I don’t expect her or anyone to this is our argument) she is supportive to Both of us and just hopes that things will resolve themselves or that we will let time heal our wounds and resolve things ourselves!!! Her challenge to me was this, before getting out of bed each morning think of 5 things I am thankful for in life, 5 reasons to get out of bed each day and they have to be different reasons everyday!!! Wow that can be tough but I am up for it!!!
Which brings me to the blog of the day you are probably wondering why the 2 things have anything to do with each other but well they do you see because although you can’t see her face the 4th picture of the 4th file is the one I have posted and IRONICALLY enough it is my Sister!!!!
So although she will probably never read this I want to tell you about MY SISTER!!!
My sister is a Sweet, kind, and caring person, she has a lot of love in her heart and in everything she does she is always thinking of others. All my life as a child I wanted to be just like her I wanted to dress like her talk like her and most of all be friends with her, BEST friends. I shared with her my deepest and darkest secrets and worries, she was/is like my second mother. We had our fights but we always got through. She is the 2nd most beautiful person I know my Mother is the 1st. We had a lot of the same friends in our teen and early adult years, I loved that because she was willing to have her little sister around!!! She is a peace maker and she wants ALL to get along. When she is hurt she cries and when you cut her she bleeds because she is Human!!! She was my maid of honour at my wedding and I would have it no other way!!! She was present for the birth of all 4 of my children, and was able to see all of them take their first breath!! She loves all of my children with all of her heart and would die for all of them, she loves them with the same love I do!!! If I died tomorrow she would be the closest biological connection my children have to me, and I know that she would keep me alive in their hearts. She has always been somewhat of a hero to me!!! Even though just like she is in this photo she has turned her back on me because she needs time and space, I will not turn my back to her!!!
Dear sister even though you may never read this, and we are angrier with each other than we ever have been I want to say you are going to be reason #1 for me to get out of bed tomorrow morning! You are my Sister and I love you and I will wait for you!!! Even though every moment that we don’t speak is ripping apart my heart I have faith in the lord above that this anger will not last forever!!!
So I hope you now see how both challenges are connected so I send this off into the void with the prayer that the Good Lord will help her meet me half way!!!!
My mother has challenged me too, she knows how hard this whole situation has been for me and although she has not taken sides (I don’t expect her or anyone to this is our argument) she is supportive to Both of us and just hopes that things will resolve themselves or that we will let time heal our wounds and resolve things ourselves!!! Her challenge to me was this, before getting out of bed each morning think of 5 things I am thankful for in life, 5 reasons to get out of bed each day and they have to be different reasons everyday!!! Wow that can be tough but I am up for it!!!
Which brings me to the blog of the day you are probably wondering why the 2 things have anything to do with each other but well they do you see because although you can’t see her face the 4th picture of the 4th file is the one I have posted and IRONICALLY enough it is my Sister!!!!
So although she will probably never read this I want to tell you about MY SISTER!!!
My sister is a Sweet, kind, and caring person, she has a lot of love in her heart and in everything she does she is always thinking of others. All my life as a child I wanted to be just like her I wanted to dress like her talk like her and most of all be friends with her, BEST friends. I shared with her my deepest and darkest secrets and worries, she was/is like my second mother. We had our fights but we always got through. She is the 2nd most beautiful person I know my Mother is the 1st. We had a lot of the same friends in our teen and early adult years, I loved that because she was willing to have her little sister around!!! She is a peace maker and she wants ALL to get along. When she is hurt she cries and when you cut her she bleeds because she is Human!!! She was my maid of honour at my wedding and I would have it no other way!!! She was present for the birth of all 4 of my children, and was able to see all of them take their first breath!! She loves all of my children with all of her heart and would die for all of them, she loves them with the same love I do!!! If I died tomorrow she would be the closest biological connection my children have to me, and I know that she would keep me alive in their hearts. She has always been somewhat of a hero to me!!! Even though just like she is in this photo she has turned her back on me because she needs time and space, I will not turn my back to her!!!
Dear sister even though you may never read this, and we are angrier with each other than we ever have been I want to say you are going to be reason #1 for me to get out of bed tomorrow morning! You are my Sister and I love you and I will wait for you!!! Even though every moment that we don’t speak is ripping apart my heart I have faith in the lord above that this anger will not last forever!!!
So I hope you now see how both challenges are connected so I send this off into the void with the prayer that the Good Lord will help her meet me half way!!!!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I am a lover not a fighter....... Well sometimes but not always!!!
I thought there would be more time to give you a back ground on myself and where when and what my life growing up was like but as my luck has it NOPE!!! So in a nutshell you already know I am 30 well I am the youngest of 3 I have an older sister and brother and as much as I hate them I love them doubly!!! I recently had a “falling out” with my brothers future wife(F.W. From this point onwards) anyways since this disagreement he is (from what I can only imagine) forbidden to speak to me she did the same to him with our mother nearly 5 years ago and he has yet to reconcile with our mother.... She is really good at making him hold her grudges for her!!! Anyhow I am now in the same boat with our Mother as I am sure my Sister will soon be too, it is only a matter of time!!! So he and I have not spoken in app. 6 months and my sister does still speak with him when he can sneak her in literally!!!
Well just days before my birthday I had a Difference of opinions over the phone with my dear Sister and the conversation ended abruptly. I new calling her back would go no where so I simply sent her an email telling her that I was hurt by what she said to me and that I would let her be the first to contact me when she was ready. She pretend not to see the email even though I new she LIVES on her PC but she called asking where I was on my birthday, as I was supposed to spend that day with her and her new baby but given the circumstances never went!! After all I never heard from her so she needed more time!!! Well there in squats the TOAD!!! My husband told her that she may want to check her Email and find in that e-mail the reason I was not there!!!!
Well this transpiring has led to a long too long drawn out argument that I am sure will get resolved but has also instilled that fact that I need to clean house, and eliminate the stresses in it, or even the people that cause the stresses. I have also come to realize that the relationship I had with my sister is gone and will never be the same, and while this saddens me greatly, I now know that I need to remember the good times and fog out the bad.I need to use the treasured moments for exactly what memories are there for, to trigger a smile, think of the moments that made us happy because they are after all the reasons we keep going through every day in this sometimes messy thing called life, it is the reason we get up every day, it is the reason we stress, and most of all it is our reason to keep moving forward!!! That is exactly what I have decided to do, I will keep moving forward, that is after all the motto the Robinson's lived by in the Disney movie Meet the Robinson's and well I think it is a pretty damn good idea.... Keep moving forward!!!! I will get up every day and keep making new memories, Treasure the old and wonderful ones, and leave out the bad... That is the wonderful thing about the human brain, we can use our own editing.... and although my new great memories may not include the same people in my old happy ones, I can in my heart be assured they will include people who love and appreciate me as much as I do them!!! I will always have the old memories to make me smile, because that is one thing NO amount of arguing, big or small, can ever take away from me!!! I will always keep my siblings and memories of them close to my heart, as I have now learned that is where they belong, and that is how we get along best.... in a memory!!!
That said, those of you who have read this blog and post before will notice that this post has been drastically edited and that is because of a comment left that made me realize somethings are better left in a fog!!! Thank you Daniella my house cleaning I have started!!!
Well just days before my birthday I had a Difference of opinions over the phone with my dear Sister and the conversation ended abruptly. I new calling her back would go no where so I simply sent her an email telling her that I was hurt by what she said to me and that I would let her be the first to contact me when she was ready. She pretend not to see the email even though I new she LIVES on her PC but she called asking where I was on my birthday, as I was supposed to spend that day with her and her new baby but given the circumstances never went!! After all I never heard from her so she needed more time!!! Well there in squats the TOAD!!! My husband told her that she may want to check her Email and find in that e-mail the reason I was not there!!!!
Well this transpiring has led to a long too long drawn out argument that I am sure will get resolved but has also instilled that fact that I need to clean house, and eliminate the stresses in it, or even the people that cause the stresses. I have also come to realize that the relationship I had with my sister is gone and will never be the same, and while this saddens me greatly, I now know that I need to remember the good times and fog out the bad.I need to use the treasured moments for exactly what memories are there for, to trigger a smile, think of the moments that made us happy because they are after all the reasons we keep going through every day in this sometimes messy thing called life, it is the reason we get up every day, it is the reason we stress, and most of all it is our reason to keep moving forward!!! That is exactly what I have decided to do, I will keep moving forward, that is after all the motto the Robinson's lived by in the Disney movie Meet the Robinson's and well I think it is a pretty damn good idea.... Keep moving forward!!!! I will get up every day and keep making new memories, Treasure the old and wonderful ones, and leave out the bad... That is the wonderful thing about the human brain, we can use our own editing.... and although my new great memories may not include the same people in my old happy ones, I can in my heart be assured they will include people who love and appreciate me as much as I do them!!! I will always have the old memories to make me smile, because that is one thing NO amount of arguing, big or small, can ever take away from me!!! I will always keep my siblings and memories of them close to my heart, as I have now learned that is where they belong, and that is how we get along best.... in a memory!!!
That said, those of you who have read this blog and post before will notice that this post has been drastically edited and that is because of a comment left that made me realize somethings are better left in a fog!!! Thank you Daniella my house cleaning I have started!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
